What is a Jumping Bean?
I’m a jumping bean by nature. My brain is a non-stop racetrack for thoughts and ideas that almost never slow down. It’s an outlet for all kinds of energy. It manifests itself as a constantly updating list of upcoming events that really don’t matter, but function just to keep me busy:
- Wash the dishes when you get home from work
- Look up flights to an awesome vacation destination that you have no plans on visiting anytime soon
- Find a DIY project on Pinterest to organize all the hair products in the bathroom
- Try and buy a dog
- Check the mail
- Learn about my state senator
You get the gist. It’s a constant burst of ideas the majority of which certainly will not come to fruition. It’s combined with incessant planning and mental organization (that doesn’t always translate into physical neatness, by the way).
It’s just more lists. Lists upon lists upon lists. There’s a list for what I’m doing tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, what I’m wearing to work this week, gift ideas for my boyfriend’s birthday in 11 months. And whatever the current task, it gets all my energy for the shortest amount of time possible, expecting perfect results. It’s always trying to fit 5 pounds of stuff in a 3 pound wrapper. Everything is a sprint, darting, borderline frantic.
Everything is like a jumping bean.
Where Does The Energy Go?
I need to channel the never ending mental energy into something. Needless to say this is tiring, but what’s even more exhausting is trying to blend into society while this is cluttering my brain. The amount of time I spend creating these mental lists, doesn’t even compare to the amount of time that I spend trying to contain this energy. But it has to go somewhere. It’s basic physics. Conservation of energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It transforms.
In this case, mental energy becomes kinetic energy. I fidget in all forms possible; bouncing my knee, cracking my knuckles, biting my nails, shifting positions in my chair, biting the inside of lip.I usually try and remain as subtle and reigned in as possible. But sometimes I just have to be a literal jumpin’ bean.
Time To Be The Fat Kid
What’s most important here is that it’s okay to be a jumping bean. There is nothing wrong with it. Some brains need to be stimulated more than others. And it’s not bad if you are the opposite, as well. There is something great about being able to relax on the couch cuddling with your dog and some Netflix.
Accept who you are and care for that person. There is no need to hide. Be who you are in the present moment. Be your own happy fat kid. There is no sense in getting frustrated at yourself. Care for yourself by providing acceptance, allowance, encouragement, and truth. You will soon begin to grow. I see it in me everyday, and I’m proud to say I’m a jumping bean.
We live in a culture that wants everyone to fit a certain mold. It’s all over the internet and social media. Don’t worry about what others think. Fear of judgment is exhausting. The most important part is understanding who you are!